Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off and go relax."
Sally very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.
He rushes over an asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"
Sally breaks down in tears. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl, why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy who was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy, why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came down and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up!!"
ok, so there are three friends on an island (blonde, brunette and a redhead) and they come across a Genie lamp. The genie comes up and says "Alas, I have been found. I will give you each a wish of your choice, but you cannot wish for more wishes." The brunette quickly shouts "I wish I was home!" "Wish granted!" the genie threw his arms in the air and she was POOF, gone. The redhead said, "I wish I was home too!". A second later, she was gone. The blonde sat there for a minute. "Do you not want a wish?" the genie queried. The blond replied "No, but I wish my friends were back here to help me decide what to wish for..."
micheal jackson and steven spielberg were running out of a burning building full of children. micheal jakson says "what about the kids?" "f**k the kids" replied steven spielberg "do we have time?" said micheal jakson
micheal jackson and steven spielberg were running out of a burning building full of children. micheal jakson says "what about the kids?" "f**k the kids" replied steven spielberg "do we have time?" asked micheal jakson
micheal jackson and steven spielberg were running out of a burning building full of children. micheal jakson says "what about the kids?" "f**k the kids" replied steven spielberg "do we have time?" asked micheal jakson
