ok basically the title says itself, but im gonna start out with one when my little brother was i think 5 or 4, he asks my dad, my older brother and me "why did the one year older jump in the pool?" "why?" we all asked "because he drowned!" yeah we were all like ????? and we all started cracking up. yeah i know weird joke lol
Two cows were sitting in a field. One says to the other, "Have you heard about mad cow disease?" The other one replies, "I don't have to worry. I'm an airplane."
...
Q: What did the acorn say to the tree?
A: Nothing. Acorns can't talk.
...
"I hate skinny women. They always say, 'Hey look, a fat woman. I bet she's heading straight for the buffet table.' Well she was right, but she didn't have to say it out loud."
Mo'nique said something like that. One of my favorite quotes.
...
Knock, knock Who's there? Nobody Nobody who?
...
Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton were on a plane, along with a bunch of other people. Jimmy says, "Save the women and children first!" Nixon says, "Screw the women!" Clinton replies, "Do you think we have enough time?"
1. Keep walking back and forth suspiciously and take straws, for no apparent purpose. 2. Change your mind when your total is given to you. 3. Ask for help on how to use the toilet. 4. Ask them to give you a tour of the restaurant. 5. Tell them all your problems in life instead of ordering. 6. Pick things up off the ground and ask them whether "it's cooking or not?" 7. Throw ketchup packets at them. If they throw you out, stare at them through the window and make faces. 8. Bring your own food and them to heat it up for you. 9. Take a chair and eat at the counter. 10. After ordering each item say, âCan you hear me now?â
You are kidding right!? The Chicken crossed the road works with me every single time! Funny the first time and it'll be funny til the last! But yeah i hate the " Why was 6 afraid of 7 ".... Hate that one.
When I'm bored, I make fun the bro who sits next to me in Bio.
Me: Sup Bro-
Guy: I'm not your bro. Don't call me bro.
Me: wait I wasn't done yet: -coli
Guy: ...Bro co li. Broccoli? Did you just call me broccoli?
Me: yeah.
There's also: Bra'madeus Mozart The Bra'dy bunch The Bro'ne Identity (bourne identiy) GI Bro Doctors without Bro'ders The Bro'zone layer The Riders of Brohan Brodo Baggins
They are all pretty bad, but it beats paying attention to a powerpoint.
