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this is a "little" mature.

Top Osama Bin Laden P**n Sites

Maybe you heard the news. The FBI is investigating reports that Osama Bin Laden may actually be using p**n sites on the Internet to send coded messages to members of the Al Qaeda network here in the U.S. This of course brings several questions to mind. First of all, isn't it supposed to be a really big sin if these guys look at porn? And second, which sites does Osama use to get his messages out? We're not sure about that first one but we have researched and uncovered the top 5 p**n sites visited by Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda members:

#5. Bare Burka.com
#4. Al Show You My Qaeda.com
#3. Hide In My Cave.com
#2. Shake Your Tali-bon bon.com
#1. Ji-STRING-had

have you ever played chinese guess who? its impossible!

Why do they have an eject button on the dvd remote if i still have to get up and take the disc out?

bit dirty but too funny not to put

A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her, "How about a blowjob?"

"What! Are you crazy!"

"Don't worry, it will be quick," he ensures his girlfriend.

"No! Someone might see us..."

"It's just a small blowjob," he insists, "and I know you like it."

"No! I said no!"

"Baby... don't be like that."

Suddenly, the girl's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, with her hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She looks at them and smirks, "Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he'll come downstairs and blow the guy himself... but for God's sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom."

if strippers are now called exotic dancers, drug dealers should now be referred to as exotic pharmacists.

A woman called Mount Sinai Hospital and said, "I'd like to check up on a patient." The receptionist said, "Please state name and room number." The woman replied, "Sarah Finkle, room 302." the receptionist said, "Ah, she is doing well. She is being served veggies and Dr. Cohen will taker her off the heart monitor in two weeks." The woman said, "Thank God!" The receptionist said, "Well that's good, are you a family member or a friend?" The woman said, "I'm Sarah Finkle in room 302, my Dr. Cohen, doesn't tell me a thing!"

Super_Punk... I don't really get the joke.

Here's one:
Two friends were at Hawaii. They were going to skydive. They passed a volcano on a helicopter, ready to skydive. "Wow! I've never seen a volcano up this close." Said Bill. "I wish I could get closer. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "Wish granted!" said Dave.

I was handing out candy during Halloween one year, and a little kindergartner came up to me.

"What did the fish say when he hit a brick wall?" The kid asked.

"Well, I don't know. What did the fish say?"

The kid got wide-eyed and said, "Dam!"

A priest, a rabbi and a brain tumor walk into a bar...

Kinda Dirty

A man is walking past an old-fashioned diner. The 'specials' sign says:
Grilled cheese sandwich-$5
Grilled ham and cheese sandwich $7
Hand jobs-$10
He walks into the diner. He walks up to the counter. A lady behind the counter in her mid 20s asks what he wants. He asks, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" She suggestively says, "You bet, honey!" He responds "Well wash your hands; I want a grilled cheese!"

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

so a blonde and brunette and a redhead r goin 2 heaven and they have to walk up 1 million stairs while a guy tells them jokes. if they laugh they go 2 hell.
brunette laughs on 56,201st stair
redhead laughs on 32,784th stair

and the blonde, who made it the farthest laughs on the last stair and the guy says, why did u laugh? u were on the last step! and the blonde goes

i just got da 1st joke!!! LOL!!!