what do you think about it like do you think if they do something bad they deserve a smack on the head or a "talking to" or something in between or even something different like timeout
even though I'm the OP I'm on a bit of a bias towards a smack because it teaches effectively IMO
Okay so what do you mean by beat? Because where I live we often refer to spanking a child as beating them but we don't actually mean that we injure we mean that we spank them.
It still hurts just as much if you did it or not...
okay holt...got the first part but not the:Because where I live we often refer to spanking a child as beating them but we don't actually mean that we injure we mean that we spank them.
beacause I live we often refer to spanking a child as beating them to lolz but unless bruises are injuries they arent injured...
I reserve spankings for situations in which the child's failure to comply could result in physical harm
So you physically threaten them to prevent them from being physically threatened? I would seem a better approach would be to remove them from the situation and show them that what they were doing would result in in physical harm. So any physical threat then is on the situation rather then something removed from that situation. This can work even with toddlers. For example my youngest cousin was going over to touch the stove that my family was cooking dinner on. I pulled him back from the stove, told him not to touch. I then said it can hurt and put my hand near it and pretended to get hurt. He got the message and left the stove alone.
or in situations in which an obvious, blatant, and intentional disregard for established rules has occurred. Usually this is when a warning is issued then ignored
I've already given an example of how this can be handled with out resorting to hitting that proved more effective in the long run.
a time out issued but not complied with, and after privileges/toys/etc. have been taken away
This can be handled with extending the discipline. Making it clear that how long or short they stay in time out depends on them can be very effective. Sometimes you have to stop what your doing to make sure the discipline is complied with.
I have 7 brothers and sisters and us older kids who were spanked for being bad as well as having privileges taken away are all well behaved and respect our parents while my younger siblings who my parents have gone soft on and not spanked do not respect anyone and if you take things away from them like toys they still do not listen and will only be good until they get the toys back and then they will start being bad again.
I suspect the problem has less to do with a lack of woopins' and more to do with a lack of control and consistency.
Another example of handling children just tonight. My GFs cousin was over with her 2 year old. the 2yr is often very rough with animals. I noticed she was tapping on the fish tank. I said not to because it hurts the fish. she tried a few more times each time I would gently lower her and and repeat not to tap on the tank. She did it again. I again lowered her hand and tried explaining again, "tapping on the tank sounds really loud noise to the fish and hurts them, you don't want to hurt them do you?" I stood back and watch she again got excited watching the fish and went to tap on the tank but this time stopped herself.
Been hit, not too badly though, and to be honest I probably deserved it.
I think that discipline can get physical (not too extreme, no literal beatings) if the actions deemed deserving are severe enough. Something like... Breaking one of the china plates would deserve nothing more that a swat to the behind and grounding for about a week or so.
but your not making it violent your making it discipline the person who is administering it is not doing it to be violent
So Loco, if I punched a seven year old in the face for cussing, would you consider that okay? What if I burned them with a cigarette for spilling the milk, or kicked them in the crotch for not cleaning their room? Since it's discipline, not violence, it's okay, right? I just don't see how you people draw such a line between spanking and beating. Even if it's well-intentioned, I believe it is still wrong.
Sure I guess we can technicly call spanking beating but it is in no way as violent as actually beating someone.
That depends on the person who is doing the beating. Ever heard of a paddle? They can whack you just as hard on the bottom as they can punch you in the face, and sometimes they'll do it with a stick.
And I would smack a kid's hand for, say, playing with the knobs on the oven. Or playing with guns. Anything extremely dangerous like that. Call me insane, but punishment like that will get across the message into their heads, especially when they're too young to understand speaking, that doing this = pain. And by doing it, I'll be saving them a lot of pain in the future, don't you agree?
So Loco, if I punched a seven year old in the face for cussing, would you consider that okay? What if I burned them with a cigarette for spilling the milk, or kicked them in the crotch for not cleaning their room? Since it's discipline, not violence, it's okay, right? I just don't see how you people draw such a line between spanking and beating. Even if it's well-intentioned, I believe it is still wrong.
i'll use whatshisfaces example what about if they break your fine china do you give them a spanking or sit them down and tell them it hurts mommies feeling, bah all cr@p with the talking
i'll use whatshisfaces example what about if they break your fine china do you give them a spanking or sit them down and tell them it hurts mommies feeling, bah all cr@p with the talking
Nope. Maybe I'll break their toys since they broke my "toys", or ground them from their toys, or make them replace the china. Just talking won't get results. And you didn't answer my question. Where do you draw the line between punishment and child abuse?
i'll use whatshisfaces example what about if they break your fine china do you give them a spanking or sit them down and tell them it hurts mommies feeling, bah all cr@p with the talking
Make them do chores in compensation to replace the china. This way they develop an understanding that it had value.
