what do you think about it like do you think if they do something bad they deserve a smack on the head or a "talking to" or something in between or even something different like timeout
even though I'm the OP I'm on a bit of a bias towards a smack because it teaches effectively IMO
A kid will not think hitting is okay because they will know that only there parents can do that.
Bull, I've seen plenty of kids do this, mostly the very young ones. From what I have seen the station usually goes as follows.
The kids playing with another kid. The second did does something that the first does not like. The first goes over to the second kid and says "Don't do that", and smacks the second kid.
If a child learns that hitting is the way to deal with an unfavorable situation then that's what they are going to use.
The kids playing with another kid. The second did does something that the first does not like. The first goes over to the second kid and says "Don't do that", and smacks the second kid.
I have to agree on this one. It kinda depends on what you teach your kid but generally its munky see munky do.
While I'm here and (not trying to make this religious) with some spare time on my hands - I'd like to argue from the 'Pro-spankers' perspective for a minute and point out that spanking is approved by the Bible:
* Proverbs 13 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. * Proverbs 22 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. * Proverbs 23 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. * Proverbs 29 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
Proverbs 13 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. * Proverbs 22 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. * Proverbs 23 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. * Proverbs 29 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
These are discriminative to the legitimate thrive of juvelines to play and experience the world to get experience! Of course I know a reasonable amount of discipline is important for a child's development, just felt I had to say the thing above...
A punishment is necessary, and (as was mentioned) it should be immediate, but in addition it's level has to be in the middle somewhere. Don't punish your child and you don't teach it about consequences (a state of concise that develops the latest in a growing child). Punish the child too hard, and you block out the reason for punishment, and teach the child about usage of fear and violence for personal goals. Where the middle level is is hard to tell though... I suppose a smack or two won't hurt too much if it's for something serious. Even a smack can have a large impact if it's used rarely (as in complete contradiction with general behavior). Grounding is good, and taking away sources of entertainment can actually awake creativity (without technological gimmicks your child might actually read books, thus improving vocabulary and imagination, or play an instrument, thus improving creativity and exercising the left half of the brain, increasing the effectiveness of the brain as a whole).
Some kids are too young to connect punishment with crime...if they don't realize that what they did had value, they will think you're hurting them for no reason.
and they didn't have their clubs taken away or couldn't hunt so even though we've evolved it still is in us
I never said we couldn't learn that way, but now that we have other options wouldn't you agree that the best one would be the choice where little children aren't injured, by their own parents no less?
yes but it's not like you wait a whole day THEN do it it's within a small amount of time and tell them what they done you almost demonize it
But you say talking is just nothing, right? So they will not really understand that what they did is wrong, they'll just understand that if they do it, you'll hurt them. Do you see the gap in judgment there? If you make them understand it's wrong, they won't do it, but if you make them understand that if they do it, you'll hurt them, all they'll do is make sure you never catch them.
A kid will not think hitting is okay because they will know that only there parents can do that.
First off, you spelled 'disciplining' wrong, secondly, disciplining isnt wrong, if a chid misbehaves you should pop them on the head or give them a firm lecture, but some people just take it too far, i'm only 14, but it still makes me sick to see some idoit think that beating on a child will make them want to beahave, hint, IT DOESN'T, I'm not tryin to be some hippie saying that being firm is bad, I'm just saying, make sure you have a good reason to do it, tell the child what they did wrong to deserve it, and follow through, but dont take it too far. if they cry, say something to soothe them, but dont reinforce that crying gets what they want. It is a delicate balance but all parents eventually find what works for them and thier child.
