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Chuck Norris can swim through land, walk on water, and sit on air.

Chuck Norris uses poison on his chicken wings instead of hot sauce.

If Chuck Norris competed in the two man bobsled at the olympics by himself, he would still win.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris is a seventy-one year old.

Chuck Norris is a real Christian and a Republican.

Chuck Norris is still cool.

but hey it's still funny it doesn't HAVE to be Chuck Norris, just it's funny cos he's a person ;D

When Chuck Norris was asked to be president of the USA,he said it was the most humiliating moment in his life.

Chuck norris isnt 71 years old he just was, look i have it here in my unedited version of the bible, it says "on the third day GOD said LET THER" the chuck Norris said [b][i]WHO SAID YOU COULD SPEAK?

Chuck Norris has no father. He just goes back in time and sires himself.

Chuck Norris can be in two places at one time.

Jimi Hendrix was wrong, the wind cries Chuck Norris.

Every fall Chuck Norris wins the World Series. He just allows another team to hold onto the trophy for him.

There is no CTRL key on Chuck Norris' keyboard cause Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Sorry if these were already said...

When Chuck Norris is flipping you off, he's really telling you how many seconds you have to live.

There is no CTRL key on Chuck Norris' keyboard cause Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Sorry if these were already said...

hitler killed himself cause he heard chuck norris was after him

Chuck Norris is both an immovalbe object and an irresistable force.

The limit of a round house kick as probability of death approaches infinity = Chuck Norris

In the event of a tie the winner is Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't buy auto insurance, the car buys Chuck Norris insurance.

Japan used to fear random Godzilla attacks. Now they're terrified of random Chuck Norris appearances.

Chuck Norris walked on the moon... without a space suit.

Yoda - "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Suffering leads to Chuck Norris."

"If Chuck Norris met Dora The Explorer he would introduce her to his boots"

"When anyone asks, 'Who's the daddy?' the answer is always Chuck Norris"

Chuck Norris FTW!