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murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

I hope you haven't fallen for this age-old trick and actually clicked on the link.
However, if you have, welcome. This is where ideas, plans, and dreams are built.
(More to come)

  • 507 Replies
murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

Why must fast food be like the fast food we eat now? Why not just have everything made in a kitchen where a 12 hour presure cooked stew would only take 12 minutes to make, speed up time in the kitchen while keeping it constant everywhere else.

Now, that's talking fast. Really fast...Okay, so now the new definition for 'fast food' is anything that can be cooked in under 20 minutes, eh?
Somewhat49
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Somewhat49
1,606 posts
Nomad

Now, that's talking fast. Really fast...Okay, so now the new definition for 'fast food' is anything that can be cooked in under 20 minutes, eh?

Sure, why not? It keeps both of the words definitions correct (unlike the usual fast food which isn't even food anymore) and really goes fast.
murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

Okay, now what? I like the way this Workshop has turned into a discussion thread.
You know, I really do like it. It's fitting. Maybe I should present a topic. How about food? Ready made food?

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

Maybe I should present a topic. How about food? Ready made food?


Or rather than attempting to regulate the topic of the thread, you could just allow it to meander freely. While the possibility of failure is present, the options for success are more numerous, and would be more easily achieved.

/political theory
aknerd
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aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

Now, that's talking fast. Really fast...Okay, so now the new definition for 'fast food' is anything that can be cooked in under 20 minutes, eh?


When I worked at McDonald's, we were supposed to be able to cook a customer's entire meal in about 45 seconds, on average. They have grill with a clamp (like a giant George Foreman grill) that allowed us to grill about 32 hamburger patties at once, without flipping. Then, you would store the patties in a warming oven until you needed them, which meant you could assemble a burger really, really, quick. We were supposed to replace the patties in the warming trays every 15 mins (which isn't that bad, if you think about it).

...But we never did... (Which is pretty bad, if you think about it*)

Anyway, point is 20 mins isn't really that fast. At actual restaurants (as opposed to whatever mickey d's is) I have worked at, they can easily make some meals in 10 minutes, especially if it is something like stir fry. I think a better definition of fast food is food cooked fast enough to merit a drive through. No one is going to wait 20 minutes in a drive through line.

What if they had "slow" food restaurants? Like, where every single meal took multiple hours to make, but they made the wait worth the while? For the last hour before your meal, you would not be allowed any food. And for the last ten minutes, they would just waft smells across your table, making you more and more hungry. For the last minute, they would just wheel food past you, but never stop at your table. Finally, they would have the waiter bring out your meal, and it would look so delicious, but then he would trip and fall.

And just when you thought you would never get to eat, they would bring out a second meal, one that looked even better than the one before, hot steaming, just glistening with flavor. And they would set it in front of you, but you wouldn't have any silverware. And then the waiter would whisper to you, that its okay, just dig in. Just grab at the feast with your bare hands. Just tear it apart and shove it into your face.

And tell me, would that not be the best meal of your life?

*If you ever eat fast food, I recommend not thinking about it.
murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

Oh, my word, Aknerd. LOL!! Seriously, you had me laughing with your comment.
How do I be clever like you?
Moving on, the 'slow food' restaurant idea might have bad side effects. People might get fed up and leave for the fast food
restaurant across the street. And those who were patient enough
might wind up satisfying their hunger pains by sampling the napkins
or the tablecloth, or worse, the table itself.
Slow food restaurants could boast that their customers had sharper
teeth. I know that sounds odd, but it works for some people.

TinyAnt
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TinyAnt
70 posts
Nomad

What if they had "slow" food restaurants? Like, where every single meal took multiple hours to make, but they made the wait worth the while? For the last hour before your meal, you would not be allowed any food. And for the last ten minutes, they would just waft smells across your table, making you more and more hungry. For the last minute, they would just wheel food past you, but never stop at your table. Finally, they would have the waiter bring out your meal, and it would look so delicious, but then he would trip and fall.
And just when you thought you would never get to eat, they would bring out a second meal, one that looked even better than the one before, hot steaming, just glistening with flavor. And they would set it in front of you, but you wouldn't have any silverware. And then the waiter would whisper to you, that its okay, just dig in. Just grab at the feast with your bare hands. Just tear it apart and shove it into your face.


And everybody at your table (If you are there with multiple people) is served at different times, so you are forced to watch other people dig in to delicious looking food while you sit there, starving.
And they also have paid actors that eat their food with loud and exaggerated moaning and groaning of contentment as they eat these giant sized hamburgers and Sloppy Joe's, and every few seconds they say "This is the best thing i've ever eaten. I feel bad for that guy over there that has to wait. mmmmmmmmmmmmMMMmmmm. mmmmm. mmm, so goood. mmmmmmmmmmm..."
murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

And everybody at your table (If you are there with multiple people) is served at different times, so you are forced to watch other people dig in to delicious looking food while you sit there, starving.
And they also have paid actors that eat their food with loud and exaggerated moaning and groaning of contentment as they eat these giant sized hamburgers and Sloppy Joe's, and every few seconds they say "This is the best thing i've ever eaten. I feel bad for that guy over there that has to wait. mmmmmmmmmmmmMMMmmmm. mmmmm. mmm, so goood. mmmmmmmmmmm..."

Horrible, just horrible people.
That's a good idea.
Ernie15
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Ernie15
13,344 posts
Bard

Why not just have everything made in a kitchen where a 12 hour presure cooked stew would only take 12 minutes to make


How long would it take to toast a marshmallow in this kitchen?

Okay, so now the new definition for 'fast food' is anything that can be cooked in under 20 minutes, eh?


That isn't all that fast for "fast food". If I have to wait 20 minutes for my food, I don't understand the purpose of putting the word "fast" in front of it.

And then the waiter would whisper to you, that its okay, just dig in. Just grab at the feast with your bare hands. Just tear it apart and shove it into your face.


Please. Like the waiter would have to tell me.

And those who were patient enough
might wind up satisfying their hunger pains by sampling the napkins
or the tablecloth, or worse, the table itself.


That's not going to happen. It's one hour. Even fat people wait at least two or three hours before wolfing down the table. So if they're allowed food slightly more than an hour before their meal, it's usually enough to satisfy them for at least the next hour.

I'd be more worried about the waiters. The smell of food is enough to make fat people go crazy. Any waiter who is not aware of this fact is in danger of being tackled to the ground and possibly suffocated.
EmperorPalpatine
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EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

...But we never did...

That's why I'd always order a burger without an ingredient like "no ketchup" or something. That way they'd have to make it fresh.

And those who were patient enough
might wind up satisfying their hunger pains by sampling the napkins
or the tablecloth, or worse, the table itself.

Or the other patrons.
murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

That's why I'd always order a burger without an ingredient like "no ketchup" or something. That way they'd have to make it fresh.

Do burgers have ketchup in them? I never knew.

[quote] And those who were patient enough
might wind up satisfying their hunger pains by sampling the napkins
or the tablecloth, or worse, the table itself.


Or the other patrons.[/quote]
That's even worse. I had that in mind but I wasn't going to mention it. Additionally, people might even sample the waiters and waitresses. Ewwwwww...
aknerd
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aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

That's not going to happen. It's one hour. Even fat people wait at least two or three hours before wolfing down the table. So if they're allowed food slightly more than an hour before their meal, it's usually enough to satisfy them for at least the next hour.


Ah, but it is far worse than that! The last hour would be the only hour you would have to fast, but the first few hours would be tortuous as well. You would be fed tiny, flavorful appetizers. But you wouldn't be allowed to finish. After your first bite, the waiter* would swipe it away, muttering something about "forgetting to add the croutons". You would only be allowed one bite every 30 minutes, like clockwork. Until, eventually, they would just swipe the food away without letting you take one bite at all.

And you would just be left with that expectation in your stomach, and nothing else.

Also, the fact that the table would be rubbed down with deliciously scented oil might hasten furniture nibbling.

*Due to the dangerous combination of the afore-mentioned malicious nature of the waiting staff and the potentially violent desperation of obese patrons, all of the employees would be trained in martial arts. Unfortunately, the other patrons will have to fend for themselves.

Please. Like the waiter would have to tell me.

What I want more than anything in life is to go to a super classy steak house and order a rare, 4-inch thick filet mignon. Then, when it comes out, just grab it with both hands and tear out chunks of glistening steak with my teeth. Not as a joke or anything- food just tastes better that way. Really, think about it: what do chicken wings, tacos, burritos, pizza, and sandwiches all have in common?

Yeah.
murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

What I want more than anything in life is to go to a super classy steak house and order a rare, 4-inch thick filet mignon. Then, when it comes out, just grab it with both hands and tear out chunks of glistening steak with my teeth. Not as a joke or anything- food just tastes better that way. Really, think about it: what do chicken wings, tacos, burritos, pizza, and sandwiches all have in common?


Does steak fall in the same category as tacos, burritos, pizza, and sandwiches? Oh, and chicken wings?
aknerd
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aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

Does steak fall in the same category as tacos, burritos, pizza, and sandwiches? Oh, and chicken wings?

Yes. Well, A category. There are many possible categories. One would be "Tasty, potentially utensil-less foods". Another: "Tasty, potentially gassy foods." Also, steak is very tasty on or in the non-chicken wing items. I see no reason why we can't cut out the middle man (or outer bread), and just man-handle steak down our food hole.



That's why I'd always order a burger without an ingredient like "no ketchup" or something. That way they'd have to make it fresh.

Where I worked, every burger was assembled fresh anyway. Like, until you ordered it, it would just be lettuce and burgers and buns and whatnot, but in separate heating/chilling bins. Then, when you order it, it gets assembled (usually by multiple people in an assembly line). So, even if you got a special order, you might still get old meat. Sorry if that ruined your system...

You could do something like ask for your burger to have no salt/pepper, because the patty is salted as it is taken off the grill. And by salt, yes, I mean almost certainly pure MSG. Without it, the burger is basically flavorless.
murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

Or rather than attempting to regulate the topic of the thread, you could just allow it to meander freely. While the possibility of failure is present, the options for success are more numerous, and would be more easily achieved.

/political theory


I like your idea, Mr. Mav. I will allow this discussion to run as it will where it will and see where we get to.
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