Forums → The Tavern → Post Your Favorite Joke.

Yea, I don't get it either, and I'm fair haired, not blonde!

Uhm, I think there might just be a lot of other threads about this.

Yea, on the other thread there is a link to this one!

Hmm. Well, yeah. But there's like 50 of these threads!

Yea, might be true, I have only seen theese two so far though, lol!

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, to the bartender:

"Can I get a beer, and one for the road?"

Two nuts walk into a bar, one was a salted.

A regular at the bar walks in:

Bartender:"Hey Joe, whats new?"

Joe:"Nothin much, just had a fight with the lil lady."

Bartender:"Oh really? How'd this one turn out?"

Joe:"She came to me on her hands and knees."

Bartender:"No, what'd she say?"

Joe:"Come out from out from under that bed you little s***!"

That's all I can think of right now. I know a crap load more, just not in the mood to think that hard cause I might blow a head gasket

Sexest joke (I didn't make this up):

God made the earth and then rested.
Then, God made Man and rested.
When God made Woman, neither God or Man has rested since

So a man and his lawyer are called by the IRS for the man to be audited.

The auditor asks the man: "You lead an amazingly extravagant lifestyle yet you have no job. How do you expect us to believe you're not hiding something from us?"

The man claims that he makes his money gambling, which the IRS agent still finds to be fishy, so he says, "Here, I'll prove it to you, I bet you $1000 that I can bite my eye!"

"Deal!" cries the auditor, thinking there's no way he can lose. The man proceeds to pull out his glass eye and chomp down on it.

The auditor is aghast when the man says: "Alright, now I bet you $2000 that I can bite my other eye."

Desperate to get his money back the IRS agent agrees. The man pulls out his dentures and bites his other eye.

The auditor is a wreck by now, he's just lost $3000 dollars to this guy with the lawyer as a witness. The man says, "Alright, last one, double or nothing. I bet I can stand on this side of your desk and pee into that trash can over there without getting a single drop in between!" And again, the desperate auditor agrees, thinking the task impossible.

The man stands up, unzips his pants, and pees all over the auditor's desk. The auditor is ecstatic, but the lawyer is starting to cry. When the auditor asks why he says: "When he told me he had to come to be audited he bet me $20,000 that he could pee on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"

A man and woman are laying on the beach.

Husband:"Tae Ta S'eoj BarcKcahs!"
Wife:"Stop that."
Husband:Vta Latner Ta Klawdraob!"
Wife:"I said stop that."
Husband:"Nemow Knird Eerf Gnirud Yppah Rouh!"
Wife:*SLAP*"Damnit I told you to wait till the banner plane went down and turned around at the end of the beach!"

I thought that one was good... also if you can't read backwards or understand what it says:
Eat At Joe's CrabShack!
ATV rental at Boardwalk!
Women Drink Free During Happy Hour!

im sorry your friend is a vegtible

I like that one...

Two girls were discussing their heavy smoking habits. "I get such a yearn for a cigarette," said one, "that the only effective countermeasure is to pop a Life Saver into my mouth and suck hard." "That's fine for you," huffed her friend, "but I don't happen to live in a house that's right on the beach!"

I'm guessing girl #2 was blonde?

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Neutron: How much?
Bartender: For you, no charge.

I'm guessing girl #2 was blonde?

No, life saver is a reference to life guard

This joke is so stupid, but everytime my brother says it, I laugh.

"Two peanuts are walking down a street. One gets assaulted."